just looking through the archives, from the first to last, this blog has captured the highlights of my life in NUS since august 2005 till now, april 2008. i've reached the end of my year 3. to graduate is another semester ahead and i'm done with school. surprisingly, it seems so distant the year one memories. and it does feel like yesterday that i was in austin. i am kidding myself.

i feel like the past year has been such a long one (i see my past year according to the academic calendar of NUS). such a long long one, and the one year i've walked in the deep holes of darkness i barely could have imagine on hindsight.

i got lost, totally engrossed in pursuing double major, honestly hoping deep within, to do a double degree in chemistry & psychology in NUS. i want to do graduate school in psychology. i want to be a psychology professor, running research, writing papers. contributing to people and bringing them out of their rut of whatever 'crap' they are in that's ruining their life.

ironically, i got myself into crap. that burning desire consumed me (to prove that i can do it and make it and get psychology as my main degree scroll) and turned me upside down. i fell into anxiety and depression. it was awful. i didn't think i would have lost myself, lose control over myself, my every being. couldn't sleep, was afraid of crowds,people in general, i could stay in the room for a week without much sunlight and going about. i got swallowed by this big monster that wouldn't let me out.

i sought help, and thankfully, i'm out of the dungeon. but for a long long while, i stopped my usual chatter,the loud, unassuming bubbly self was almost not visible. whee asked me where has the andrea been to?

i deferred the last semester on the account of leave of absence due to my psychological condition. i've got another semester more to go, to complete my third year and it'll mark the end of my time in NUS. i thought i could stay here, and be extremely productive and creative and happy for the next 2 years pursuing psychology.

somehow, it isn't gonna be that anymore. i'll soon complete my last semester this november/december. and start receiving salary while i go through the PGDE (post graduate diploma in education) for a year and later start serving the bond of three years in teaching chemistry, oh goodness crap.

man, i feel like in less than half a year, i'll be almost, most definitely be financially independent, and that will mark a different stage, a transition into a new phase. gohwees, i want to stay in school awhile longer, till you graduate, so i can do NIE with you too. probably if there isn't space for me in NIE this december, then i can do half a year teaching at some school as an untrained teacher. will see. but i'm getting abit better after crying to ya, and reading friend's online journals.

but, somehow, i can't believe that i'm gonna graduate with a degree that i want the least. i want that psychology honours. none for me, at NUS. i can't do a part time degree with NUS, they have no such thing. there might be in time, the last i heard from my counselor, was that there might be some part time degree to be offered in year 2009. i probably could go fix an appointment this week to see him and update him on my current situation too.

B>Greetings