there's so much emotions running in my veins. i must totally admit i'm such an emo freak. is it a woman tendency to be ever so sensitive and full of feelings at every moment of her life? i'm fully a woman if it is so.

this brand new semester, i've set my mind to put highest priority to giving my all in studies. right now, my heart is beating pretty hard and fast for the singing competition i joined (my purpose to take part was plainly to win the hot cash). this isn't right, i'm off track. my mind tells me to get done to work, but my emotions are running so mightily, i can't seem to get in control.

i really didn't think i'll take TalentQuest(singing competition) seriously, to the extent of feeling anxious bout it. i mean i just wanna take part and have fun. but oh no i've gotta think bout which song to sing, after deciding, which is never totally decided cause of my fickle nature. next i've gotta get the minus one version of the song i want to sing. i got to dress to impress and it has to fit the theme of the song as told by the organisers. i've got to practise the song. i'm even nervous at this point. i'm not good with the stage, i may be expressive and bold with friends but stage performance is in front of strangers who tend to be critical cause they don't know you personally.

the next big thing in my life is that i've moved out of hall. i've decided on that, honestly surprising if i were to turn back time to one week ago. i realised i'm bad with leaving in a room all alone by myself. staring at four walls and a ceiling, sitting on a chair at the table doing work, it seems to be the worst setting for me. my mind starts running and i seem to hear voices. i must be claustrophobic. another setting is in toilet with two windows as opening only, i feel breathless and hear voices. it's really freaky to me, i can't wait to get out once i'm done with my business. seems like i've diverted. the main and important reason i've left hall is that i could be financially better off and that i've got home to rely on as emotional support admist my endless mugging. sitting down at the dining table, with mum making pineapple tarts and sister doing artwork, their presence makes me feel happier and less emotionally unstable. i don't understand why is there immense and ever consuming emotions running in me. does someone knows what is going on? tell me if you do.

the other thing that has been on my mind is the burning question of why people work so hard in school just to be employed and sometimes not enjoying the subjects they study and looking further, getting sucked into the consuming thirst for more money that they choose jobs they don't find joy in. i'm pretty simple when it comes to the money matter. i personally feel that money enough to get me by happily everyday will be good. loved ones are all it matters to me. i could sit by simple fare and tea, chatting with friends and loved ones. love, care and joy - what i look forward in each day. alright how do i define enough money by? enough to eat, buy necessities, have a shelter over my head. to me, i rather work jobs i truly enjoy and find satisfaction in. personally it has to be teaching. mundane office work, corporate life with all the sugar words flying about and plastic smiles - ingenuine contact with only profit gains in mind. how awfully fake can it get? sorry if it's offending some. if i look at it in another light, some truly enjoy the corporate life cause they love to be in the service line(they enjoy to serve others?).

(= ultimately i'm excited to sing to entertain others. come by Jurong Point shopping centre on 11th feb and 12th feb at 2pm to witness the grueling fight of the vocals. support and vote for me! 11th feb will be my solo act and 12th feb will be kenny and i doing duet. i commit to my Lord, asking for His blessing in my health.

B>Greetings